Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Long Day

It's 10:28 and I just got home. I have started a new routine of going to my moms in the morning and waking her up and making sure she gets breakfast and her meds. Pam, my sister in law goes at noon, and I go back after school and in the evening. We just started this this week. Good thing.. this morning I went in and some time in the night she had fallen and couldnt get up. She is so confused and weak. It is sad to see my mom like this. My mom has always been such a strong woman. I think she is tired of fighting - and rightly so. Since dad passed in December she has gotten progressively worse. I spent the day in the doctors office and then on to the hospital. My brother is staying with her tonight and I will return in the morning. I also have an appointment with her doctor in the morning to talk about what our future with mom looks like. I hope I am ready for his answers.

When I found mom on the floor Randy was already out of town at an all day dentist appointment. I didnt even call him . I didnt want him to turn around - he has waited a long time for htis.

Devin came in at the last minute to help Ms Beth. Since things have been such chaos today, I have talked to Beth but not specifically about the activities the kids did. I can tell you what was planned though.

Today the children enjoyed " The Grouchy Lady Bug " . In circle time they talked about " what makes YOU grouchy?" They also made a lady bug from a paper plate. I am sure they enjoyed many other fun things with Beth and Devin . I wish I could elaborate more.. but I cant. I do know they had fun learning and were safe... as they always are when we leave - or.. we wouldnt leave.

QA? No, they havent come yet . Ms Beth is scared to death they will show up tomorrow. I had a little talk with myself this afternoon. My mom needs me now. I can't stress out every day , especially in this type of situation, worrying that they will come and I wont have that high score I normally do. So what if it isnt perfect? One day when I am gone is not a reflection of the absolute passion I have for my job. If you are thinking , Debbie, are you NUTS and think you can't be replaced? No... but if you knew the mental checklist I have to go through EVERY DAY to make sure I am meeting all the requirements, you would understand. First, the environment is set up - easy one.. as long as it stays that way. :) No, it isnt just making sure they have enough. There has to be 32 soft toys - 2 per child. Two sets of blocks , art materials from 4 different groups... the list goes on and on. Then there are the provider issues - like help 2 children solve a social dispute, comment on a child's art work that is displayed, use music at some time other than group time, etc.... See my pain. It isnt as easy as saying be nice to the kids and keep them safe and oh yeah..read this book. I have every faith that Ms Beth and Randy will do their best job and I have to be satisfied with that. Looking back - I know I wont regret it.

When you say your prayers - throw in a little extra one for my mom - and me if you have time.


  1. Debbie, I'm so sorry for the stress and pain your family (especially your mom)is going through. You're an amazing daughter and doing exactly what is best for you and your family. Don't worry about QA, everyone knows what an amazing job you and Randy do and a lower score wouldn't make us think other wise. Prayers that things get better for you!

  2. Ms Debbie,
    You both are in my prayers. You do such a wonderful job, know that!! Heck, we can all be replaced, but finding someone who has your passion, your knowledge, and your drive is really hard to come by... so don't sell yourself short!! You'll rock your QA, whether your there or not. You only have one Mom... do what you need to, the kids will be there for you when you get back (with smiles and hugs, I'm sure).

  3. I'm sure Ms. Beth and Mr. Randy will do a fabulous job. They have the best leading the way! And the score doesn't mean squat right now...your mom does. There's always next year to fix a score.
    Your mom, those kids, their families, and all of us providers that you reach out to are so very lucky to have someone so loving, caring, passionate, and concerned in all of our lives.
    Take care of yourself, too. Don't stress the unimportant stuff right now. You and your mom will be getting lots of big prayers from our end.

  4. Debbie,
    You don't know me, but I am a fellow home childcare provider and I check into your blog frequently.I went through this with my grandma several years back and I know how much stress my mom was coping with during that time.
    I just wanted to send my thoughts and prayers to you and your family during this hard time.

  5. I feel like I've completely missed the past few days of your life and no idea how b/c I'm on the internet all the time! *Big hug.*